I waited tables at an Olive Garden for about a year in college. One day, a manager came up to me and asked what tables I had. I answered and he scratched his chin for a minute, looking confused.
"That's what I thought," he said. "So you had the family of four? Two teens?"
"Yes. Why?" I asked.
"They stopped me on the way out to compliment their server. But they said she was... Bubbly." He sounded aghast. "I thought there was no way they could have meant you!"
I had to laugh and admit that was probably the only time in my life I had been called bubbly.
I may not be the most gregarious or sunshiny woman, but I'm not a pessimist either. I tend to strike a balance in the middle. I'm fine. And things are going to be fine. And if you ask me for any prayer requests or praises, everything is fine.
The problem with fine is that when we don't allow room for the low moments in life, we diminish our ability to experience the highs. When we don't admit to God the struggle, we limit our praise for his redemption.
So let's dive into this phenomenon of "fine" with this month's devotional. And stick around, because there's a fun cover reveal later in this post too!
May Devotional: "You Cannot Cast What You Deny"
My lovely momma texted that phrase, "You cannot cast what you deny," to our family, along with Psalm 55:22: "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never allow the righteous to be shaken."
Do we deny our burdens? Perhaps to ourselves, certainly to others. Because we're fine, right?
It seems the church has an unspoken rule about what burdens we can share, and which we should carry silently. Most spoken prayer requests concern health issues and perhaps something about our friends or neighbors. Rarely do we hear a personal plea regarding a lack of community, missed promotions, financial struggles, or hurting marriages. Those things are too personal, too vulnerable. We keep them quiet.
And when we get into a habit of avoiding those topics in our church community, we might even avoid them in our personal prayer lives. These heavy cares don't seem like proper prayers. We begin to believe they are our stresses to carry alone. The pain of not being invited, or a child's struggle with a bully, or the resentment building in a marriage—those are our stresses, not our prayers.
But God wants your every care, for he cares for you (1 Peter 5:6-8). He wants the things that keep you awake at night. He wants the things that swirl in your mind on your commute. He wants the things you typically take to Google, or a friend, or a journal, or perhaps to no one at all.
When we look to the Psalms, we see authors who take every care to the Lord. (There are so many, but Psalm 43 is a quick example.) We see cries of desperation and shouts of praise, and no sign of fine. I believe our prayer lives should look similar. Not for the sake of drama, but for authenticity.
Because only when we acknowledge our weaknesses do we find Christ's strength. Only when we bring him our greatest sorrows, our greatest pains and fears, can we experience the greatness of his joy.
Latest Reads
This month I'm helping judge books for a contest. I've read three short novels so far and have two to go, but for the sake of anonymity, I'll have to keep those reviews to myself. Thus, my book list is looking small this month! But I have a couple great articles to recommend as well.
I read this as research for a book and ended up loving it. Becky Aikman is a journalist who was widowed in her forties. She starts a monthly club for six middle-aged widows who don't feel they fit the stereotype. They journey together through remaking their lives, knowing they can tackle anything now, because the worst has already happened. Aikman combines their personal stories with her own research into grief. This was very insightful and helped me understand a bit more about how to support those we know who are grieving.
I wrote this guest post for Kelly Mack McCoy, author of The Sojourney's Road Home about facing loneliness and isolation as a believer. It's brutally honest and hopefully encouraging for anyone struggling with finding community.
I stumbled upon this article about the Billy Graham Rule and enjoyed it a lot. It reflects my personal experience in churches that have followed this rule.
Author Life
Lots of things are happening right now! I have an upcoming craft fair for the first novel, we settled on a cover for the second novel, and I went on a police ride along for the third novel. (The first draft of which is complete! *Shoot the confetti*)
1.
I've had several local book events reject my applications due to the religious content in my books (don't get me started), so we're trying something new and heading to church!
I'll be at "Be the Light" craft fair at Hill Country Bible Church in Austin this Saturday, May 4th, from 10am - 4pm with copies of Outside of Grace, and promotional materials for Reaching for Grace.
2.
My favorite update this month: Reaching for Grace has a cover! I am so excited about this. My publisher's design team did a fantastic job, I just keep coming back to it.
They captured both the look and feel of the main character, as well as the perfect hint of storm clouds in the distance.
I also have reviews rolling in and will be sharing more of those on social media over the next few weeks. The cover quote comes from the talented Cam Torrens, award-winning author of Stable, False Summit, and Scorched. (Thanks, Cam!)
"For every reader out there who has ever said ‘I’m not enough’…read this book and unburden your heart." - Cam Torrens
3.
Third and final author note: I went on a super fun, super geeky police ride along for my third novel!
I felt like a major dork for hours on end, following an Austin police officer around and trying not to sound stupid. I spend the vast majority of my hours either typing make believe stories or playing with small children. I had no idea what I was doing. We had a blast though.
My father was a police officer way back in the day, and it was interesting to get a peek at how things have changed from the stories he used to tell. Shout out to my husband (and mother-in-law) for watching my kiddos for the day so I could do this.
That's it for now! Thank you for joining me for another month of thoughts and updates!
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